According to Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI), many problems in relationship building stem from the fact that most people have no idea how to ?consciously? date, or mate, i.e., dating and mating from the perspective of seeing the big picture including self and others as well as the past, present, and future possibilities.
For far too many in the process, dating is a hit or miss, mind-boggling, nerve- wracking, unpleasant experience, fraught with anxiety, apprehension and fear. ?For ?unconscious? daters, it?s a mine-field, scattered with far too many past failures and anxiety over what the next encounter holds.
Using the following relationship compatibility test, the ?conscious? dater should take into account several key factors before comiting to a relationship:
- Readiness Factors
The desire to be in a great, fulfilling relationship does not necessarily equal the readiness to be in one. ?Great relationships ? those that satisfy and inspire ? take time, energy and effort. ?Consider, along with your partner:
- How ready either of you are to undertake meeting the needs of another person.
- Whether you?re physically and mentally available
- Current or past areas of life that would interfere with the two of you moving forward together
- Your financial stability or instability.
- Joint Vision Generally speaking, two people with very divergent visions seldom make it as a couple. ?Consider together with your partner whether your visions mesh and can coincide even in the face of distance or change. ?Consider the importance of hobbies and life goals as well as careers and education to each of you. ?For example, over achievers and under achievers rarely see eye to eye, just as those who are very spiritual won?t find too much in common with atheists and health buffs won?t be comfortable with couch potatoes.
- Joint Values and Ethics
Values play a huge role in relationships. Couples with opposing values will struggle, to put it mildly. ?Consider, along with your partner, whether your values can be compromised to maintain a relationship. ?For example, someone who views integrity and honesty as their guiding light most likely will not be compatible with a partner who has no concerns with stretching the truth or lying. ?Likewise, someone who values frugality will find no joy with a spendthrift.
- Joint Requirements
According to RCI, requirements are non-negotiable, black-and-white behavioral events in a relationship. ?They are deal-breakers. The absence of these in a relationship spells doom. Consider, along with your partner, whether your requirements are in sync and complementary. ?For example, someone whose requirement is emotional intimacy, would have a tough time dealing with a partner who is aloof and standoffish. ?Problems will certainly develop in a relationship where one partner desires a house in the suburbs with kids, grass and swing sets, while their partner loves city life and wants nothing to do with children.
- Relationship Core Competencies
One of a relationship?s core competencies is communication skills. Communication skills or the lack thereof can shut down a relationship quicker than a New York minute. Another core competency is problem solving. ?Consider, along with your partner, your ability to communicate and listen effectively to differing points of view. ?Consider also you and your partner?s problem solving methods. ?For example, situations where one partner desires to talk a concern through while the other desires to pout and display the silent treatment are toxic.
Relationships can be beautiful, encouraging, inspiring and heavenly, but only those who consciously consider all angles will find the golden ring. Use this relationship compatibility test to ask yourself the right questions and guide yourself to a successful relationship.
Source: http://task.fm/2011/09/relationship-compatibility-test-what-works-and-what-doesnt/
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