Working with a new client (launching a new online dating website) I felt compelled to share some of my research findings - both analytical and real life - I have been genuinely shocked!
There are a number of statistics that seem to have become part of our internet culture - avidly peddled by the big TV advertised sites
1 in 8 marriages are the result of online meetups - from the iconic Did You Know 3 video from 2008
1 in 5 relationships start on an online dating site
Much happiness is promised , complex algorithms are applied to us to find our perfect matches and we are sent matches suggesting we are 79% compatible (yes I am single and have paid a subscription on 2 sites) all in the name of research of course!
*Oh yes the industry globally is estimated in value at 4 bn dollars US in 2010
Yet over a 3 month period I've yet to have one date!
If you are already itching to share your experiences please go here!
Maybe I'm too fussy! Being an active Dad I've decided that I don't want to travel too far - so maybe I've restricted my market - and it truly feels like a market - horrible (!) - problem!
Having answered a huge long list of questions it appears to me that unless you know yourself very well answering the questions is a waste of time - and if my mood is different I'm gonna answer the questions differently - and when I'm sent a match that is 79% compatible it feels meaningless anyway - I don't know the person! The richness of experience and emotion that is me is crammed into a few ones and zeros........
Please share your experiences here!
When I have conversed with possible matches online I have been flabbergasted by my knock backs! It's a brutal world online dating!
I was told I was an animal hater because I put people before animals(!), that I was too outgoing (this is without a real conversation!), I didn't look right - well I can accept this as we all need to fancy the person physically - yet so judgemental so soon and so the rejections go on!
Now I'm not looking for your sympathy I'm sharing a suggestion that these sites as they are currently built, promoted and sold just don't work!
Share your thoughts here!
In fact an Oxford university study supports my failure(LOL) - in their research upto 63% of people didn't even get a meeting - I'm not feeling quite so bad now!
And of cohabiting couples that met online less than 6% met through an online dating service a somewhat different statistic to 1 in 5.
To be fair the 1 in 5 statistic does not actually quantify cohabiting - but when you want to buy it is easy to be taken in.........
Other cleverer people have considered these questions more than me - this video helps I think answer the questions a little deeper....... there are a couple of good articles on this site too - search for online dating - http://bigthink.com/ideas/20749
So what are your experiences? Are they as bad as mine or much better?
If you are prepared to share them would you mind completing this short online survey please
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I'd love to know your thoughts and experiences!
Happy dating and searching and if you've found the one congratulations!!
My research suggests that you are unlikely to find your match using online dating sites - they are too narrow in their approach and actually narrow our own thoughts in the process - multi faceted multi dimensional creatures as we are become linear and black and white.
Oh yes - my clients differentiator - they are organising offline events so that you can really begin to get to know the person in an organised and fun environment.... attempting to meet people with similar interests - which doesn't guarantee a perfect match....but is trying to address the online offline gap......
What it is hoped to do is create an informal atmosphere where you can chat, network(!) and share a drink or a coffee building that complex picture that is us - the human being..... perhaps your ONE is a friend of a friend.......
All the best
Ivor Kellock
Reaching out around our world through social networks developing connections, forging relationships & making friends we inadvertently stumble across a democratic consensual method of stewardship for our planet - empowerment whilst spreading joy.
Mail: ivor@whatsonstalbans.co.uk
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Office: +44 (0)1727 870613
Cell: +44 (0) 77 82 193 093
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